You can easily be fooled by the ‘love’ of a narcissist. Losing your own soul to help someone else find there’s? Is he or she worth that much to you? These are my life lessons after a long term relationship with a narcissist.
This is a blog that I put off writing for a while because it means I have to go back to a very dark place of my past. I get chills down my spine just thinking about this part of my life I’ve kept hidden away for such a long time. But today I really wanted to share my story and my thoughts about this subject to hopefully help some of you out there who are currently dealing with toxic partners.
I’ve been through hell and back in this relationship with my narcissist. The person who I thought was the love of my life, turned out to be a complete nightmare. You can easily be fooled by the ‘love’ that the narcissist has for you.
If you’re currently still in a relationship with one please hang in there! And if you got out in time, I am very proud of you.
So let me share some truth 🙂
As an empathetic and very sensitive person, I experience every emotion in the deepest of my soul. I use my feelings to navigate me through life making my core decisions based on how something “feels” to me, rather than if something is right for me.
It’s truly a blessing … AND a curse … To feel everything so very deeply.
I’ve had many moments in my life where I’ve felt complete euphoria without taking ANY drugs. Moments that took me above the clouds making me feel like I was in the presence of God himself which I cannot put into words.
I can tell you with certainty that I met God a couple of times in my life.
I know what god feels like
I also know what the devil feels like.
I experienced this devilish energy first hand during my relationship with a narcissist.
As I’m typing this, I can just hear you thinking out loud: “Are you really comparing a narcissist to the devil?”.
My answer to this is: YES.
Yes. Yes. Yes.
This is my only way to describe a narcissist in my vocabulary.
Someone who feeds off dark energy with the intention to break anything or anyone who gets in its way, is not made by the hands of God.
After all, darkness is an energy created from within, just as the light of God is created from within.
Thus, the first important thing I want to make very clear before diving further into this topic is: Not everyone is made by the hands of God (or light).
And you being the angel that you are, believing you can ‘fix’ anyone with a broken soul doesn’t make you the hero of the story, it just makes you the naive victim.
Losing your own soul to help someone else find there’s…?
Is he or she worth that much to you?
If you would ask me, I would tell you to start watering your own flowers, instead of someone else’s. The love you are seeking deep within your soul is nowhere to be found in the presence of a narcissist.
And my message is going to trigger you, but this is my truth.
The love you are seeking is nowhere to be found in the presence of a narcissist.
So why do the narcissists and empath attract each other?
So like I explained before, the narcissist lives in darkness …And the empath lives in light. These two opposites are drawn to each other like magnets to experience the duality of life (The Law of polarity). The Law of polarity explains that everything in this life has two “poles”: good and evil, love and hate, yin and yang. Think of a battery with its negative and positive terminals. Everything in the universe has an opposite and so do you.
The narcissist seeks anyone who possesses light because he lost its own…
His one and only goal is to take away your light.
Take away until there is no more.
And the empath? well, the empath just wants to give and give.
Give until there is no more.
The empath seeks love and appreciation because he or she needs validation.
But the love they are searching for is nowhere to be found in the presence of a narcissist.
So what is love really? Is it loving another more than loving yourself?
Ask yourself this question.. My only goal of this post is to be the confirmation of what you already know.
So what is love suppose to feel like?
If you ask me, love is supposed to feel like heaven. It should be weightless, easy, and uncomplicated. It should involve pleasure instead of heartache. It should make you stronger instead of weaker. And most importantly, it should always build you UP instead of tearing you down.
Dominating and degrading your partner is not love…it’ s hate! The narcissist loves to see you suffer. He loves to see you in pain. He even gets a kick out of it like a junkie craving its heroine.
I know you don’t want to hear this my love…But that IS the reality of your fairy tale love story.
And if you feel any resonance in your body while reading this.. you know i’m right…
And the good thing about this is you have a choice now. You can choose to stay in this love story that I would call: a living nightmare. Or… you can wake yourself up, open your eyes, and accept to see what he or she truly is about.
Are you still alive? You should know your credibility is your kryptonite.
You deserve the world my love.
I hope you find the strength within you to let this person go. Start listening to your heart and intuition, instead of your thoughts. Because what you want is not always what you need.
You don’t have to keep proving yourself to him, her, it! You only need to prove to yourself that you are worthy enough to receive real unconditional love. And this means letting go of anything that is not love.
Share your story with me 🙂 I am curious.
And for my narcissist, because I know you will read this eventually…
Thank you for teaching me how to love myself.